Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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