I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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