My sheets look like a crime scene.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You have to summon your inner elephant
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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