but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Even the bartender felt bad for me
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
