thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Ketchup is God's man juice
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
