yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
