im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
