K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
