I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
