ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Such a big mess for such a small penis
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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