Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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