I cannot find my penis.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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