why didn't you poke me back
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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