Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
