Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games

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(518): View more from New York

i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again

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(714): View more from California

drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.

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(703): View more from Virginia

There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.

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(214): View more from Texas

I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.

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