awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
