Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
