But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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