Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
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