She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
