it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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