I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
