I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
