wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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