doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
