Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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