You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
