I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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