Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
