i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
third nipple confirmed
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
