who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
