someone get that fucking seahorse.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
