I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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