i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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