so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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