Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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