No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm passing your future prison.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize