idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize
