I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize