dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She's the barista slut.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
