Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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