the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
