I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Randomize
