i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
