A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
