So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
