you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
