This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
