I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Say something about gay babies.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
