We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
