I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize