My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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