Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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