why didn't you poke me back
You're so nebulous sometimes
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize