We're facebook friends in real life
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just want to make out with him forever
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
