if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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