There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize