your room smells of hookers.
And success
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
