i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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