She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
