i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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