I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
