fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
