Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
