Cold hands, warm shart.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
