Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
you would pick up someone in the library
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
