So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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