meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
