This girl is more easily done than said...
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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