it hurts more in the daytime
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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