Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
