Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
