I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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