Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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